We Will Never Forget You

Lauren just called me. I hadn't seen her in awhile and I was a bit surprised. The last time I saw her was frustrating - I had gone over to visit her while she was babysitting and I returned feeling quite depressed. I realized then that I wanted her to be Jeff and give me what Jeff gave me and she never would. No one would for that matter and for some reason this realization struck me hard.

Lauren called me because she had been thinking about Jeff - having a particularly difficult time at school right now with some female friends. Jeff and Lauren had been each other's refuge. They had been inseparable since kindergarten -- Jeff spent Saturday nights at Lauren's house or doing something with Lauren and their female friends -- he spent Friday nights with the lacrosse guys. (Jeff was loved equally by the guys as well as the girls.) In an case, Jeff and Lauren would spend hours on the phone. After he died, in conversation once with Lauren, she confided in me that in the 5 or 6 weeks before Jeff died, he and Lauren had come up with a plan to spend several days "home sick" together so that they could spend the day on the phone with one another!

Lauren told me how she decided that Jeff died young because he had the wisdom of a old man. She told me about how well he could read people. She said that it was amazing what he learned by just spending the time to look at a person, just really look at a person. She said that if we all did this like Jeff did, that we would be able to tell right away what was wrong with someone, what was really wrong with them if they were having a hard time....but that no one ever really did that, like Jeff did. Lauren is going skiing this weekend -- Jeff and her skied a lot together. She said that she has only been once since Jeff died and that she simply can't enjoy it -- it just isn't the same for her as skiing with Jeff who would play tag down the hill with her or ski with his snowboard in the middle of her skis (Glad I found out about this, after he was died or else I would have killed him for doing such a dangerous thing!)

Lauren said that she can't imagine life being the same without Jeff. She said she knows it never will be, but that it will be different. She said she missed 'the excitement he put into my life" and "the fire he put into me". She is not alone in feeling this way.

I miss you so much Jeffer. John and I watched 24 this week and all we could think about was how the 3 of us watched it religiously together and how you always told us what was going to happen before it did. (and you were always right). I would do anything just to see you one more time. I love you more than a million universes ....more than infinity!