Making the Walk Together

One of my mother's favorite sayings when I was growing up was "God works in miraculous ways."

I was reminded of that this evening; I was also reminded of my last written message to Jeff -- one on the side of his casket -- pleading for "big signs, very big signs, because my eyesight is failing, that you are ok and with me."

After months of wanting to speak to Joan Patterson, I finally got her number and the courage to call her. Joan Patterson is Shamar's mother; Shamar is the young man -- 16 year old -- who was shot dead the same day that Jeff died. Shamar was in the PICU (Pediatric intensive care unit) room about 6 doors down from Jeff's room. Shamar's room was closer to the entry into the unit. I passed his room often and never met his mother. So I never saw Joan despite the fact that both our boys died the same day and were kept "alive" for several days in order for their organs to be given away to others.

Joan told me her story -- her son was shot dead down the street from where her mother lived - in the city. They had moved to Gates-Chili to get away from the dangers of the city. Shamar befriended two kids in school who were simply bad apples -- who decided --actually premeditated -- Shamar's murder.

The story was incredible -- hard for a woman from Pittsford to "get her head around. But I knew Joan had to tell it so I listened.

But Joan told me much more than the story. She told me of her life -- which is an incredible one -- having decided when she got pregnant at the age of 16 with Shamar to keep her baby, finish school, finish college, get a job and support herself and 6 children.

She told me of how she pictured Shamar and Jeff "making the walk together" into the next life. And how it warmed her heart to know that Shamar, who, similar to Jeff, was a social butterfly, would have a buddy with him to go into the next life. She said that she was honored to be able to have a son who was in the position of donating his organs to others -- feeling like in many ways it was a blessing to have had a son chosen to do this. She told me that she received some years back a donated liver and how she knew how important this was -- to give ones organs if at all possible before one's death -- to someone else. She told me about how she lived by the 23rd Psalm. the Footprints poem and the Serenity Prayer. And she told me so much more.

And I do believe that this was one of the best gifts Jeff/God could have given me to date-- meeting and speaking with Joan and knowing that just as Jeff and Shamar walked together that in many ways Joan and I are doing the same thing and I am blessed to have befriended her.