Jeff Would Have Been 17 Today

Today is Jeff's birthday. Jeff would have been 17 today. This is THE most difficult day of all the very difficult days. Doug says it is the same as every day without Jeff. Not so for me. My heart hurts so much.

I understand why people do what they do when they are depressed - and in pain - I understand how easy it would be to drink your way into oblivion. When you are overcome with pain you zero in only on how to make it stop. Not a lot of alternatives when you are feeling the death of your son.

I bought some new flowers today for Jeff's grave. All different ones -- some have different color blossoms -- some not. When I put it on Jeff's grave it reminded me of how "colorful" a character he was. He was such a wild and crazy boy at times. I continue to be blessed with wonderful memories of him....