How To Get Through The Holidays

You are the ONLY PERSON who knows what makes you feel better or worse at times - so you are the only person you have to listen to.

Don't do anything only because you think you should or you think someone will be disappointed if you don't. Completely avoid certain situations that will make you feel worse -- you know what these are. (they differ for each of us).

Pace yourself.

Get lots of rest.

Things I do not do:

1) I don't go to parties with lots of people
2) I don't write out cards if I don't want to
3) I don't go into crowded stores
4) I avoid places which have lots of Christmas music
5) I drink less than I usually do (since it is such a hard time, emotionally, I want to watch my alcohol intake.)
6) I avoid all people who have said something stupid to me in the past about my Jeff's death

Things I try to do more of:

1) Be outdoors in the wilderness
2) Walk
3) Be with my 4 legged friend
4) Be with the few people who I can talk to about how I truly feel
5) Talk to these people; call and talk to whoever will help me through this period
6) Nap as often as I want
7) Stay in bed for an afternoon if I need to
8) Write more about how I am feeling and what I am thinking
9) Ask for hugs when I need them
10) Buy my comfort foods (animal crackers/special coffee/chocolate drink)
11) Help other people
12) Cry when I need to (carry tissues more often)
13) Bring my ipod and earplugs with me all of the time so that if I do walk into a store ever again that is playing Christmas music I can slip on the headphones quickly

When I feel angry I:
1) Scream at the top of my lungs (best done for me in the car with the windows closed on the expressway)
2) Smash dishes on cement (back yard or parking lot when no one is there - usually clean up afterwords)
3) Punch a punching bag (a bunch of pillows work)
4) Run around the block
5) Write