Found a new website called MISS Foundation. They have cards that you can print to give to people that says something to the affect "This random act of kindness done in memory of _____________" I love this idea...doing a frequent random act of kindness in Jeff's memory. So I printed a batch of cards and stuck them in my purse - not because I want to give them out after a random act of kindness but because I want to be reminded of what a great way that is to remember Jeff and motivate myself to incorporate that new "normal" routine into my life.
When I was at John and Ellen's at Christmas we had a discussion about "moments". I am very lucky in that for some reason having kids later in life and my marriage and having older siblings with kids significantly older than my own, made me realize earlier than I might have, how precious my kids are -especially at their younger ages. My siblings always talked about how fast "they grow up" making me realize when Doug was born that I should try to grasp each "moment" of their infancy/youth that I could.
I remember so many moments with Doug and Jeff and I am trying hard to continue to focus on these and current new "moments" in life. Like the random acts of kindness, I am trying to do this also in memory of Jeff.
Was at church on Sunday listening to the young girl playing the flute. She was about Jeff's age right before he died. And suddenly I had a flashback to Jeff playing the trumpet...actually he was practicing the trumpet. It was around Christmas...and I asked him if he could play me a Christmas carol. So he started to play one - I think it was jingle bells. I loved that...I loved the times he would go out on the back porch and blow his trumpet like he was someone famous. Jonah said he had some talent...I believe he might have.
At John and Ellen's Doug and John and I went out to do an errand. When we got back, Doug said to me quietly, "Mom, come up here a minute." And he went up the stairs to the bathroom. When I went in there with him he said "look" and he motioned for me to look in the mirror. And very gently he put his finger on my face - around my chin - and said "you have to do this to your makeup mom - mesh it in with your skin" - and he patted down my makeup gentling from the bottom of my face a little over and under the jaw bone. He was so gentle... so kind. And I thought "there's a Doug moment."
There were so many moments when I would walk into Jeff's room and just watch him sleeping and think about how beautiful he was. Then there were the moments when he had nightmares after Jim left and I would sing to him lullabys and make up part of the words. He was older but he loved it.
And the times when he fell asleep in the car and Jim was gone and I would have the opportunity to left him up and put it in bed.
And the many times when we would be riding to Massachusetts...Doug would be asleep or doing something and Jeff always sat behind me. I would put my left hand behind my seat and motion for Jeff to give me his hand. He would give me his left hand and we would hold hands for a minute.
And the time when Jeff fell asleep on the coach out by the TV. Doug was at Kate's. I got up late at night and saw Jeff still on the coach and Doug's bed empty. I panicked and raced to the phone book to get the phone number of Kate's family to call them. Couldn't remember Kate's last name so I was rummaging thru the phone book trying hard to remember it. I started pacing also -and paced into Jeff's bedroom. Then I noticed that Jeff was asleep in his own bed. And I just started laughing. ...because I had thought it was Jeff on the coach in the TV room because Jeff was there when I went to bed. In actuality, Jeff had moved into his bedroom, Doug had come home late, and it was Doug who was on the coach in the TV room having fallen asleep there.
I love you so much, Jeffie. Everyday. I miss you so.
Thanks for the moments. Help me continue to remember them...
When I was at John and Ellen's at Christmas we had a discussion about "moments". I am very lucky in that for some reason having kids later in life and my marriage and having older siblings with kids significantly older than my own, made me realize earlier than I might have, how precious my kids are -especially at their younger ages. My siblings always talked about how fast "they grow up" making me realize when Doug was born that I should try to grasp each "moment" of their infancy/youth that I could.
I remember so many moments with Doug and Jeff and I am trying hard to continue to focus on these and current new "moments" in life. Like the random acts of kindness, I am trying to do this also in memory of Jeff.
Was at church on Sunday listening to the young girl playing the flute. She was about Jeff's age right before he died. And suddenly I had a flashback to Jeff playing the trumpet...actually he was practicing the trumpet. It was around Christmas...and I asked him if he could play me a Christmas carol. So he started to play one - I think it was jingle bells. I loved that...I loved the times he would go out on the back porch and blow his trumpet like he was someone famous. Jonah said he had some talent...I believe he might have.
At John and Ellen's Doug and John and I went out to do an errand. When we got back, Doug said to me quietly, "Mom, come up here a minute." And he went up the stairs to the bathroom. When I went in there with him he said "look" and he motioned for me to look in the mirror. And very gently he put his finger on my face - around my chin - and said "you have to do this to your makeup mom - mesh it in with your skin" - and he patted down my makeup gentling from the bottom of my face a little over and under the jaw bone. He was so gentle... so kind. And I thought "there's a Doug moment."
There were so many moments when I would walk into Jeff's room and just watch him sleeping and think about how beautiful he was. Then there were the moments when he had nightmares after Jim left and I would sing to him lullabys and make up part of the words. He was older but he loved it.
And the times when he fell asleep in the car and Jim was gone and I would have the opportunity to left him up and put it in bed.
And the many times when we would be riding to Massachusetts...Doug would be asleep or doing something and Jeff always sat behind me. I would put my left hand behind my seat and motion for Jeff to give me his hand. He would give me his left hand and we would hold hands for a minute.
And the time when Jeff fell asleep on the coach out by the TV. Doug was at Kate's. I got up late at night and saw Jeff still on the coach and Doug's bed empty. I panicked and raced to the phone book to get the phone number of Kate's family to call them. Couldn't remember Kate's last name so I was rummaging thru the phone book trying hard to remember it. I started pacing also -and paced into Jeff's bedroom. Then I noticed that Jeff was asleep in his own bed. And I just started laughing. ...because I had thought it was Jeff on the coach in the TV room because Jeff was there when I went to bed. In actuality, Jeff had moved into his bedroom, Doug had come home late, and it was Doug who was on the coach in the TV room having fallen asleep there.
I love you so much, Jeffie. Everyday. I miss you so.
Thanks for the moments. Help me continue to remember them...
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